The frustration of love

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Some times there is absolutely NOTHING that you can do to help the ones that you love. Some times all that you can do is pray while you watch them fall. Pray for their souls, pray for their lives, pray for their hope. Some days I wake up and wonder how long I'll have to pray for my sisters, my brother, my mother, my family... My heart is heavy with the hopes and dreams of my loved ones. I keep the flame burning for them like a candle in the window. And maybe I am naive in that I sincerely see that one day they will open their eyes, their minds, theirs hearts to something bigger and brighter. But I come from a stubborn stock of women and men. There is no telling when life will start for them...

Wasn't life so much happier when we were younger?

HURT

No matter what.....

Things to never forget about the past week

1. My sister looking up at me for encouragement while she was in labor and pushing.

2. Seeing the way that my sister looked at Sloane and the way that Sloane looked at her.

3. Being there when my sister had to say goodbye and witnessing what an amazing woman she has become.

4. Ida the very kind nurse that was so good to my sister.

5. French-braiding my sister's hair.

Having been there twice before I know how unbelievably hard and unnatural it is to hand over the precious little life that you have just welcomed into the world. Watching my sister do the very same thing brought up a new love and respect for my sister. I don't know what to say or do and I imagine it was the same for the people that loved me and my babies. But this had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my sister. I saw her change overnight into a mother, a birthmother. And while her journey might be different than mine I hope that I can be there for her... My heart feels heavy and hopeful.