Big empty

Somehow I caught it, I caught the last shred of hope in her. I jumped through hoops, maxed out my credit card and pulled the very hair from my head to keep that one last spark ignited. She arrived broken down.

Over the weeks and months I tried to give her a place to call home. Soon she had friends and people that cared about her. She had a life all her own. Little pieces of her began to shine through. But that still wasnt enough. She drank to feel. She drank to forget. The sight of her stumbling through endless day and nights became heartbreaking. But she was here and that was all that mattered to me. I was selfish for her.

Now she wants to go back to her hell, to our hell. I am on the verge of hating her. Why does it always have to come back to the past? What is so wrong with moving forward? I cant tell her what to do. I want to. I cant make her be happy. I want to.

Now I need someone to save the last bit of hope that I have for her alive. Right at this moment in my heart of all hearts all I can say is, I give up. I hope that she doesn't.