Blind writing and talking and thinking. Pay no attention.

The inevitable cycle of letting myself fail has begun once again. I don't know why or where failure became a part of my life. All I know is that it is there. Sometimes it sits dormant for years and then right when things are great, BAM! I fall flat on my face.

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I am wondering what my TRUE passion in life is. Photography, painting, writing, they all seem so fleeting. And while I love them I don't think my world would be over and I wouldn't be complete without them. I watch movies and hear stories of passion. Stories of roller derby, photography, singing, hockey, music.. it makes me feel very strange. I love lots of things and maybe might be "good enough" at those things but am I passionate, do I love it?

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I dont know anymore. I wish I could say life were so much more simple when I was a kid but it wasn't. It never has been and I beginning to doubt that it ever will be. Sometimes I even think that after I die, I will still not get the rest and simplicity that I so desire.