Inspiration from someone else's inspiration

One day the outside world sees the smile and they assume to know that happily ever after is true. Bright white smiles and hands folded over one another. But now its been years and the smiles have formed age lines. Once firm bodies have become nothing more than waste. 

Behind closed doors there are secrets, whispers and screams that wont ever escape those four walls. When did love turn into a battle? When did companionship turn into pointed fingers and hate?

Eyes are stained red from tears held back. "Fuck you" and "I hate you" bury themselves in the places once held dear. What kind of monster was created? Love was once there and now this... this beast, a zombie that eats up all the good, is the only thing left. 

No one sees what the monsters see. No one sees what they see. The disdain from every day life. Disappointment in every breath. Where has the love gone? The only bit of feeling left that isnt stained by hurt is holding on to dead hands. The only thing left is the hate and the love. They cant let go of one another.

For G

A little girl stands far from home. She knows that she is at the head of a trail she doesnt understand. Her heart bears the scars of not knowing who she is. She waits for someone, anyone, to tell her who she is. Anyone but them.

Her young mind races forward without care. The signs all point toward another road yet she cant help but keep putting one foot in front of the other. She doesnt even look up to see that there are no trees or flowers. There are no songs or joy to be found. There is only the dirt beneath her feet.

She wonders when she will see in herself all that they told her she was. She shakes her head no. They dont know. 

A blistering pain throbs in her delicate hands. Her hands now bruised and bloody from the fight. The never ending fight to keep her heart beating even if she doesnt know what or who it beats for. 

She smiles and a tear falls as she remembers they told her they loved her. But she soon forgets the light the memory brings and she continues to walk away.

There is no certainty in youth, only growing pains.

I am looking at

I am looking at snow. Crisp white blanket outside my window. Melted and iced over up and down the driveway. Please let the sun take it away. I dont want to shovel it. The sky is blue and the air looks clean. Finally, we can breath. 

Little birds come to the deck. They peck at frozen seeds that have fallen from our feeder. Lily our prowling little feline begins to pant. She wants outside. More than just wanting to be outside she wants what is outside. Her sleek black coat is nothing more than a shadow to the birds oblivious. She swats the window scaring the tiny brown birds away. Lily looks searching for any bird left to tease. 

I am looking at winter finally settling in. The snow fell late this year. 

I have been thinking about writing a memoir about my life. I created this blog to help get me back into writing without limits. I recently purchased a book that has 10 minute writing challenges. I will be doing those challenges in this blog.  I am excited and nervous.